World peace. That’s the stereotypical pageant girl answer to a question. What all girls apparently want. But what doesn’t seem to be what everyone wants is pageant world peace.
What does that mean exactly? I mean peace among pageant girls. Peace among pageant systems.
To the general public, there’s Miss USA, or Miss America. The ones you see on tv. But the fact of the matter is that there’s literally hundreds of pageants out there. Large ones. Small ones. Scholarship based. Modeling based. Glitz. Natural. You name it, there’s a pageant for it, and probably 10 pageants with the same name.
When I first got into pageants, it seemed like everyone got along. Granted I knew nothing about the pageant scene, so maybe I was just naive, but up until 2 years ago, it seemed like everything was fine in pageant land. Girls could compete in different systems, and have friends in other systems. I’ve made some of my best friends throughout competing in a variety of systems.
But recently, it’s all changed. And I don’t like it. When I look up pageants to do myself, I read their contracts. And some of them horrify me. Some pageant systems don’t let their titleholders support other pageants, watch other pageants as visiting royalty, or even be friends with girls that have titles outside their system. It’s actually scary how many pageants have that rule. Pageantry should be a sisterhood, not a cult. I am always inviting girls and friends from other systems to my community service opportunities because I believe we all have a common goal.
On the other hand is the director side. I will be the first to admit I have not gotten along with other pageant directors. Some directors, that have been upset merely because my pageant exists, have said unkind things about me, my pageant, and my titleholders. And I will also be the first to admit that I have had negative experiences at certain pageants. But never have I said to anyone, “no, you’re not allowed to sign up for a pageant.” or “that pageant is just bad.” I have given my personal experiences with a pageant or director, both good or bad, on occasions, mostly when someone asks for it. It is definitely difficult at this time where I’m both competing and directing, and giving my honest opinion can be twisted into me bashing everyone. So I’ve laid low with that. I am sure someone has something negative to say about my system, but if that was the case, I would love constructive criticism on how to improve it for the future.
At this point, I wish for peace. Pageant world peace. I wish all pageant girls could get along. I wish there wasn’t rules that banned girls from doing appearances with other systems. I wish all directors, while we may not all get along with each other for whatever reason, could at least coexist without major issues. I want to put all differences behind me, and I hope other directors or pageant girls could as well. Pageantry already has a bad reputation without adding negatives to the mix. I have cleared out my facebook these last few months of those that have caused me pain and issues, but I wish it didn’t even have to come to that.
Girls shouldn’t be competing with each over who does a better appearance, who does more, etc. Directors shouldn’t be competing with each to get contestants, talking bad about other directors and spreading lies. If we all have the common goal to help others, it shouldn’t be a competition among each system. It should be all of us supporting each other as best we can. I started a pageant simply because I love pageantry, I love planning events, and I love giving girls opportunities. My girls don’t have a non compete clause. As long as they complete their required appearances with me (and not win a binding title pageant) they can continue to compete to get experience and build confidence and friendships. And I wish I lived in a pageant world where I could share other pageants for them to do.
From this point forward I’m only spreading positivity, and I hope everyone else in the pageant world can as well. We don’t have to agree, we don’t have to like each other, but we should all live in peace. Life is too short to live negatively, and I encourage you, if you’re a pageant director or contestant, to reach out if you would like to help and support each other.
**this blog is not directed towards any individual, pageant etc. while I have experienced this personally myself, I also know many girls going through this, as well as other directors.